Autism can be detected in children by age 3, and sometimes as early as 18 months. Autistic behaviors vary in type and severity in each child-psychiatrists will place children diagnosed with autism on the autistic disorder spectrum. The spectrum runs from low-functioning autism, characterized by severe delays in communication development, to higher-functioning autism, like children diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. These children don’t exhibit the same kind delay in communication development; in fact, their communication level may exceed that of their peers. Children diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome are often extremely verbal, but they lack even the most basic of social skills. Every child who displays autistic behavior and is diagnosed with autism will be placed somewhere on the autistic disorder spectrum.

One of the problems with diagnosing autism is that many of the hallmark behaviors are abstract, not concrete. According to the World Health Organization, “children with autism are marked by delays in their social interaction, language as used in social communication, or symbolic or imaginative play.” Essentially, parents are asked to evaluate their young child’s language and social skills in relation to their child’s peers. Usually, parents will begin to suspect that something is amiss before their children enter the traditional school system, and many public school districts now offer Early Intervention classes to help identify the strengths of each autistic child, and parents and educational professionals decide together how to proceed with the autistic child’s education.

Because autistic children show little regard for the world around them, it probably won’t come as a surprise to learn that the word “autistic” comes from the Greek word autos, or “self.” All of the behaviors associated with autism are characterized by a different perception of “self” and the surrounding world. Many autistic children react strongly, even violently, to outside stimuli such as lights, sound, and touch. The degree to which the child is affected (or not affected) varies greatly from one child to another.

Autistic behavior in children is sometimes hard to detect as many autistic children are developing “normally” until they suffer a sudden regression. Some typical autism behaviors are simply a normal delay in a particular area of development, which is why it’s vital to be as informed and educated about autism as possible. However, developmental delays added with some other standard autistic child behavior can be an early indicator of autism.

Autistic children struggle with non-verbal communication. Tone of voice, body language, and gestures are often misunderstood or not understood at all. Autistic children often avoid eye contact and playing with other children. Finally, obsessive repetitive behavior patterns and strict adherence to a routine are other indicators of autism in children. These children may have intense, violent reactions when asked to deviate from their routines or try something different.

If you think your child is displaying some autistic behaviors, you are not alone. Recent statistics suggest that 1 in 300 children are born with autism; boys far outnumbering girls. Your family physician or other trusted medical professional can refer you to a reputable child psychiatrist for an initial appointment, observation, or testing. When autism is diagnosed early, extensive therapy and other treatments can greatly improve your autistic child’s quality of life.

Common Behaviors seen in severe to profound autism. Day to day reality of protecting behaviorally fragile autistics from noises

ADHD is not caused by poor parenting, or by too much sugar, or by vaccines. It is genetic, it is lack of discipline or lower intelligence. It is a serious disorder affecting children and adults. It is a common behavioral disorder that affects an estimated 5% to 11% of school going children.

ADHD can affect your child’s school performance, relationships with other children, and behavior at home. It is a psychiatric label that can follow these children and limit their potential for the rest of their lives. It is an invented label with no objective, valid means of identification. It is attention deficit /hyperactivity disorder. ADHD is a psychiatric disorder that purportedly affects boys 3 to 4 times more commonly than girls.

ADHD is a pervasive disorder in which some symptoms will be present in varying degrees in most settings. It is a disorder that can include a list of nine specific symptoms of inattention and nine symptoms of hyperactivity. It is characterized by hyperactivity and/or inattention outside of normal development. It is commonly diagnosed in childhood and causes impulsiveness, restlessness and difficultly focusing on tasks. ADHD can usually first diagnosed during the elementary school years.

ADHD can make it difficult for a child to be successful in school. It is a risk factor for many adverse consequences. It is a neurological condition involving a failure in the cognitive functioning associated with inhibition and self-control. It has historically been considered a childhood disorder and something that children grow out of eventually.

ADHD is not a disorder that a student “grows out of”. It can be best treated using a combination of medication and behavior therapy. It is often present with other behavior or emotional disorders. It is known to be associated with multiple co-morbid psychiatric disorders. ADHD can mimic other disorders, like depression, anxiety, and some medical problems like hypothyroidism.

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Mental Health Is Important

Mental health is how people think, feel, and act as they face life’s situations. It affects how people handle stress, relate to one another, and make decisions. Mental health influences the ways individuals look at themselves, their lives, and others in their lives. Like physical health, mental health is important at every stage of life.

All aspects of our lives are affected by our mental health. Caring for and protecting our children is an obligation and is critical to their daily lives and their independence.

Children and Adolescents Can Have Serious Mental Health Problems Like adults, children and adolescents can have mental health disorders that interfere with the way they think, feel, and act. When untreated, mental health disorders can lead to school failure, family conflicts, drug abuse, violence, and even suicide. Untreated mental health disorders can be very costly to families, communities, and the health care system.

In this fact sheet, “Mental Health Problems” for children and adolescents refers to the range of all diagnosable emotional, behavioral, and mental disorders. They include depression, attention- deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and anxiety, conduct, and eating disorders. Mental health problems affect one in every five young people at any given time. ”Serious Emotional Disturbances” for children and adolescents refers to the above disorders when they severely disrupt daily functioning in home, school, or community. Serious emotional disturbances affect 1 in every 10 young people at any given time.

Mental Health Disorders Are More Common in Young People than Many Realize.

Studies show that at least one in five children and adolescents have a mental health disorder. At least one in 10, or about 6 million people, have a serious emotional disturbance.

The Causes Are Complicated

Mental health disorders in children and adolescents are caused mostly by biology and environment. Examples of biological causes are genetics, chemical imbalances in the body, or damage to the central nervous system, such as a head injury. Many environmental factors also put young people at risk for developing mental health disorders. Examples include:

Exposure to environmental toxins, such as high levels of lead; Exposure to violence, such as witnessing or being the victim of physical or sexual abuse, drive-by shootings, muggings, or other disasters; Stress related to chronic poverty, discrimination, or other serious hardships; and The loss of important people through death, divorce, or broken relationships.

Signs of Mental Health Disorders Can Signal a Need for Help

Children and adolescents with mental health issues need to get help as soon as possible. A variety of signs may point to mental health disorders or serious emotional disturbances in children or adolescents. Pay attention if a child or adolescent you know has any of these warning signs:

A child or adolescent is troubled by feeling:

Sad and hopeless for no reason, and these feelings do not go away. Very angry most of the time and crying a lot or overreacting to things.

Worthless or guilty often.

Anxious or worried often.

Unable to get over a loss or death of someone important. Extremely fearful or having unexplained fears.

Constantly concerned about physical problems or physical appearance.

Frightened that his or her mind either is controlled or is out of control.

A child or adolescent experiences big changes, such as:

Showing declining performance in school.

Losing interest in things once enjoyed.

Experiencing unexplained changes in sleeping or eating patterns.

Avoiding friends or family and wanting to be alone all the time.

Daydreaming too much and not completing tasks.

Feeling life is too hard to handle.

Hearing voices that cannot be explained.

Experiencing suicidal thoughts.

A child or adolescent experiences:

Poor concentration and is unable to think straight or make up his or her mind.

An inability to sit still or focus attention. Worry about being harmed, hurting others, or doing something “bad”.

A need to wash, clean things, or perform certain routines hundreds of times a day, in order to avoid an unsubstantiated danger.

Racing thoughts that are almost too fast to follow. Persistent nightmares.

A child or adolescent behaves in ways that cause problems, such as:

Using alcohol or other drugs.

Eating large amounts of food and then purging, or abusing laxatives, to avoid weight gain.

Dieting and/or exercising obsessively.

Violating the rights of others or constantly breaking the law without regard for other people.

Setting fires.

Doing things that can be life threatening.

Killing animals.

Comprehensive Services through Systems of Care Can Help Some children diagnosed with severe mental health disorders may be eligible for comprehensive and community-based services through systems of care. Systems of care help children with serious emotional disturbances and their families cope with the challenges of difficult mental, emotional, or behavioral problems. To learn more about systems of care, call the National Mental Health Information Center at 1-800-789-2647, and request fact sheets on systems of care and serious emotional disturbances, or visit the Center’s web site at

http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov

Finding the Right Services Is Critical

To find the right services for their children, families can do the following:

Get accurate information from hotlines, libraries, or other sources.

Seek referrals from professionals.

Ask questions about treatments and services.

Talk to other families in their communities.

Find family network organizations.

It is critical that people who are not satisfied with the mental health care they receive discuss their concerns with providers, ask for information, and seek help from other sources.

Important Messages About Child and Adolescent Mental Health:

Every child’s mental health is important.

Many children have mental health problems.

These problems are real, painful, and can be severe.

Mental health problems can be recognized and treated.

Caring families and communities working together can help.

Information is available; call 1-800-789-2647.

This is one of many fact sheets on children’s mental health disorders. All the fact sheets listed below are written in an easy-to-read style. Families, caretakers, and media professionals may find them helpful when looking for information about mental health disorders. For free copies, call 1-800-789-2647, or visit http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov

80`s head banging

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PDD-NOS is a diagnosis given when a child does not meet all the criteria for Autism, but they show several of the signs. PDD-NOS or Persuasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified is diagnosed with several different types of assessments. We will look at these different types of assessments needed for PDD-NOS.

Medical Assessment

The medical assessment will examine the child completely to rule out any health conditions that could be causing the symptoms the child is experiencing. Some health conditions can cause similar symptoms as those in Persuasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Educational Assessment

The child will be tested in several different educational areas. They will be assessed on what skills they have appropriate for their age. They will be assessed on daily living skills. These skills include dressing, bathing, eating, etc. These skills can be assessed by testing, or interviewing the parents, and teachers.

Interviews with Child’s Parents, Teachers

Children with Persuasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified can have different symptoms at different times or places. Interviewing the child’s parents and teachers gives a better picture of the child. A child in school is with the teachers for several hours a day. They can add very important information to the child’s assessment. The same can be said for anyone that spends a lot of time with the child. This might be a daycare provider, or grandma.

Psychological Assessment

The child will be assessed by a Psychologist to rule out any mental disorders that could be causing the problems. The child will be examined for delays in several areas like cognitive, or social. They will be evaluated for anxiety, or problems with depression.

Behavior Observation Assessment

The doctor assessing the child for PDD-NOS might want to observe the child in a natural setting. This can be done in the child’s home. This gives the doctor a better view of symptoms a child is having. They can see how the child acts with their family.

Communication Assessment

The child will have their communication skills tested. This will be done with testing and by talking to the child’s parents. The child will be assessed for their ability to understand others, and their ability to use their words. The doctor will want to know if the child understands body language, and facial expressions.

Occupational Assessment

The occupational assessment will check how well the child can use their fine motor skills. They will also check for any sensory issues the child may be dealing with. An example of a sensory issue would be a child that only likes certain textures. This can make choosing clothing difficult.

After all of the assessments are complete the team will meet and decide if the child has met the criteria for a diagnosis of Persuasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. If the child is found to have PDD-NOS a treatment plan will be created. Getting treatment for the child is very important. The treatments can help a child with Persuasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified to be able to communicate better. They can learn how to act in social settings. Overall treatment can make their life easier.

More Cognitive Disorder Nos Articles

Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Is your child at risk?

This encompasses the five types of neurodevelopmental disorders that include Autistic Disorder, also known as Kanner’s Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Syndrome, Rett Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder not Otherwise Specified.

The disorders are all related though they are all slightly different in their disabling effects and potential outcomes. They are more widespread; more children suffer with them, than the commonly known childhood disorders of Down syndrome or Spinal Bifida. A recent American study discovered that there are 3.4 children with autism spectrum disorder for every one thousand children aged three to ten years old. Children who suffer from this group of disorders all have difficulties with social interplay, spoken and unspoken communication, imaginative play and repetitive behaviors.

Depending on which autism spectrum disorder is being discussed the symptoms may begin as early as six months, but can begin as late as three to four years. Whichever of the five disorders the child develops they share many of the same difficulties to one degree or another with Asperger’s usually being the mildest form. Still these children will all have difficulties with social interplay. They will not be cuddly like other children and even if they were as babies, they will begin to pull away from their parents and siblings, preferring the company of a single toy to that of their family. They will have a problem making eye contact. Almost as if looking onto your eyes they see things that make them uncomfortable. You may find that when you hug them they allow the hug but do not respond. There may be concerns that the child has not attached normally to their family.

Language is a problem for autistic children. In some cases, like Childhood Disintegrative Syndrome, the child loses their language skills at three to four years of age. While in autism itself the child may never learn to speak, or if they do, they have great difficulties in maintaining a conversation.

Playtime for the autistic child no longer includes imaginative play, but instead often repetitive actions. They may line up their toys in a specific way over and over again. If someone disturbs this pattern they can become very upset. They may also display repetitive behaviors like toe walking or rocking. Oddly some autistic children obsess on different things. It may be numbers, or learning about something out of the ordinary like bus schedules or the workings of a blender.

No matter what symptoms the child with autistic spectrum disorder displays early intervention therapy is their best opportunity for a better chance at a life where they can cope with situations around them, and hopefully be mainstreamed into society.

Related Childhood Disorders Articles

The Everything Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders: The information plan you need to see the warning signs, help promote positive body image, and … plan for your child (Everything Series)

You don’t know what to do. Your once happy, carefree child has begun abusing food and fallen into a pattern of disordered eating that is literally taking her life. You watch in horror as she binges and purges, starves herself, compulsively eats, or takes pills and supplements. There is no such thing as a harmless eating disorder. Your child is in danger and she needs your help.

Children with an eating disorder need their parents to be prepared, engaged, knowledgeable, and ready to do battle on their behalf. With the professional, accessible advice presented here, you can get the support you need.

This guide helps you:

• Promote positive body image–at any age
• Instill healthy eating habits
• Recognize warning signs
• Find the right treatment options
• Stay positive and encourage your child

This book provides an all-encompassing look at eating disorders–the symptoms, the causes, and the treatments–so you can feel confident about the steps you need to take to help your child overcome this illness.

List Price: $ 14.95

Price: $ 8.72

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Many parents of children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder feel hopeless and alone. They live in homes that become like little prisons as they deal with kids who are absolutely out of control and unmanageable. They don’t like their child any more, even though they still love him or her. And they’re confused about why nothing works. They tell me they feel isolated and lonely because they can’t socialize with other families due to their child’s behavior. Certainly things like sleepovers, days at the beach, parties-all those activities become affected by this kind of child. It’s not surprising that these families have a harder time in general, and often wind up emotionally, spiritually, and functionally bankrupt. The other siblings grow up in an atmosphere of intimidation and frustration. Attempts to just get the opposition to stop, however well-intentioned, are often met with frustration and failure. As a parent of a child with ODD, your strategy has to be to learn how to manage the opposition in a way that slowly leads to its extinction. In the thirty years I worked with kids with ODD, I found that the following strategies helped improve their behavior and taught them how to cope when someone told them “no.”

Why “No” Triggers an Explosion

Nobody likes the word no, especially children and adolescents. “No” means disappointment, “no” means not getting what you want, and that’s frustrating and disappointing for everyone. Most children learn to deal with this somewhere around the age of two and three, when their personality actually forms. Over time, they develop the ability to balance their inner wants and needs with outside expectations and responsibility. But for kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, the message they internalize is, “If I’m not in control, bad things happen. When bad things are happening around me, the only way I can survive is by being in control.” They react to the word “no” with yelling, threats, punching the wall or hurting one of their siblings. And the more chaos and inconsistency they perceive in their lives, the more they feel the need to stay in control.

For many of these kids, opposition and defiance become a way of reacting to authority. Every day brings a new fight as you try to exercise your authority. Whereas many children learn to accept that they can’t be in control all the time, children with ODD often experience a sense of panic when they see they’re not getting control. Their parents learn to walk around on tiptoes, and too many of them blame themselves or try to find some person, place or thing to point the finger at instead of focusing on the task at hand, which is, “How can I teach my child how to manage things today?”

Three Ways to De-escalate Oppositional, Defiant Behavior

“No” is a powerful word. All children have to learn how to deal with it, and children with ODD are no different. But there are things parents can do to avoid or escape from explosive behavior, or to redirect their child’s behavior.

I want you to remember those words: “Avoid”, “Escape” and “Redirect.” Because we want to try to avoid conflicts with ODD kids, or escape those conflicts as soon as we can, and redirect them toward something positive.

Avoid the Conflict

One of the ways we avoid conflict is by having a written structure posted some place where everyone can see it, like on your refrigerator, for example. This is really a schedule that would look like the following:

Daily Schedule Snack and relax: 3:30-4:00 p.m. Chores and homework: 4:00-to 5:00 p.m.. Free time: 5:00-6:00 p.m. Dinner: 6:00 p.m. Free time after dinner: 7:00 to 7:30 p.m. Homework: 7:30 to 8:00 p.m. Bedtime: 8:30 p.m.

I think these kids do better if they come home from school or day camp, have a little snack, do some chores or homework, have brief play time, and then have dinner. After that they can do a few more chores, have some free time, then go to bed. Evenings need to be as subdued as possible. When you have such a schedule and your child says, “I want to play now,” you can say, “You know the schedule, Tommy. Playtime isn’t till after dinner.” Now in this case, although you’re saying no, you’re really re-focusing that child on the schedule. Understanding the schedule and internalizing the structure are important coping skills that kids with ODD need to develop. So you’re accomplishing two things here: You’re avoiding a direct fight with “no,” and you’re focusing on structure and scheduling, which are coping skills these kids need to learn.

And as a parent, remember that the idea is to not to think about yourself as giving in, but rather, you’re avoiding situations where there’s a higher risk of your child acting out. So if you find yourself having to avoid too many situations when you’re at the mall because of the fear of outbursts, my recommendation is that you avoid going to the mall with that child until he’s at the skill level where he can handle it.

Escape from Fights

The other strategy we want to look at is “Escape.” Once the fight with your child is starting or has begun escalating, you need to find a way to get out of it. First of all, you can state your position, turn around and walk away and not respond to the child’s backtalk. So, for example, you can say, “It’s not time for you to play video games now. It’s time for you to clean your room,” and then turn around and remove yourself from the argument. There are cases where you will find that a kid with ODD is back talking to parents as they’re on their way to do the chore you asked them to do in the first place. Sometimes it seems that their mouth and body are moving in two different directions! Don’t let yourself be pulled into the backtalk, either. Just simply go about your business and do something else.

Redirect your child’s behavior

The third important step in the plan to de-escalate the oppositional behavior is to “Redirect” the child. Redirecting is a strategy you can use when the child’s behavior starts to escalate. You can say, “Remember, you want to watch that show at 6:30, so stay focused,” and then turn around and walk away. This redirects their attention to something else and teaches them to focus on something other than the argument. Redirecting is also helpful in situations where there have been conflicts in the past, and where you know an explosion is likely. You can distract your child by getting him to do something differently early in the escalation period. So when you see that he is starting to get agitated, that’s the time to send him to do some alternate task that can be helpful for the family. For instance, “Please go get the lettuce out of the refrigerator and wash it for the salad. That would be a big help.”

Stop Throwing Fuel on the Fire

I think it’s important for parents to understand that once a kid with ODD starts arguing about being told “no,” he gets very invested in the process of arguing as much as the outcome. So in effect, the argument fuels itself. The first thing parents have to do is stop throwing fuel on the fire: Don’t argue or talk back to the child. State the rule, state the expectation or the task at hand, and walk away. When times are calm, sit down with your child and have a discussion and say, briefly and concisely, “I don’t think arguing helps us solve our problems. So I’m not going to argue with you anymore. And the time you spend talking back and arguing with me when I’m not responding will be taken off your computer time tonight. 2 minutes for every 1 minute you argue.” Don’t overly explain or justify by giving examples. Tell him the rule, but don’t sit there and get into an argument about it. Get up and move on to something else. Expect him to argue right then and there. But understand that the best way you can deal with children with this particular disorder is to lay out a structure and stick with it.

I think it’s important for parents to remember that many of these kids do develop coping skills, it’s just that, as the poet Theodore Roethke said, “a slow growth is a hard thing to endure.” Time helps with these guys. Age helps. And they can learn problem-solving and negotiation skills, it just takes a little longer, and will take more patience on your part. Stick to a plan that on one end is flexible enough to deal with their impulses, but on the other is firm enough to hold them strictly accountable, and I believe you will see real change.

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child’s Fears, Worries, and Phobias

All children have fears, but when should a parent be concerned? How can you know when stress has crossed over into a full-blown anxiety disorder? In Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, a childhood anxiety disorder specialist examines all manifestations of childhood fears, including social anxiety, Tourette’s syndrome, hair-pulling, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and guides you through a proven program to help your child back to emotional safety.

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Check out these child behavior disorders images:

Israel Postal Authority …..item 3..Raising Different Drummers — Our children’s personalities hang on with more persistence than a migraine (October 23, 2011 / 25 Tishrei 5772) …

Image by marsmet541
The children’s designs illustrated their perception and deep feelings about Israel and represented all aspects of the country – landscape, culture, people and symbols. After an initial selection process in the United States, the four winning designs were chosen by the special selection committee that decides on all Israel’s stamp designs.

In January 2005, the Israel Postal Authority together with the AVI CHAT Foundation and Jewish Family & Life! and their monthly educational Jewish magazine BabagaNewz, held a contest for Jewish school children in America to design an Israeli stamp which expressed their solidarity with Israel.
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…..item 1)…..youtube video…..Pro-Israel rally in Westwood – Sunday, Jan. 11, 2009…..2:25 minutes…. jewishjournal

www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5svI7AZ9RY

JewishJournal.com’s Jay Firestone reports on the strong showing of Israel supporters outside the Federal Building in Westwood (Los Angeles). For more information, visit JewishJournal.com

Category:
News & Politics

Tags:
jewishjournal larry miller westwood israel rally pro-israel palestinian palestine gaza rockets peace federal building standwithus jjtsrf333

License:
Standard YouTube License
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…..item 2)…..web-link…..JewishJournal.com…..constantly fresh

www.jewishjournal.com/

LOS ANGELES…NEW YORK…ISRAEL…ITALY…CHICAGO…NEW JERSEY…PHILLY…LONDON
SAN FRAN
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…..item 3)…. www.aish.com ….Raising Different Drummers….You can’t change your child’s personality. Embrace it.

by Marnie Winston-Macauley
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img code photo….Raising Different Drummers

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www.aish.com/f/p/Raising_Different_Drummers.html

Doing nothing is highly underrated, especially when it comes to parenting.

“Nothing?” you ask.

Yes, nothing.

Before you send me careening into the “toxic” swamp where old counselors retire, I’m not talking about doing “nothing” when little David is running into traffic, or using the new baby’s head for target practice.

I’m talking about the relatively recent (and peculiar) notion that “good” parents need be constantly vigilant in our never-ending task to “get involved” or mold our progeny into how we think they should “be” – for their own good, of course.

Not only is this generally an unsatisfying mission, but the consequences often send our progeny on a mission to take up crocodile farming as a career choice.

Our children’s personalities hang on with more persistence than a migraine.

As we delve more deeply into the biology of the brain, and that elusive concept we call “personality,” we’ve learned that our children come into the world with a distinctive “road map.” Their personalities hang on with more persistence than a migraine. Only the most extreme
circumstances (think Wolf Boy) may fundamentally alter it. Other than that, we can’t “logic” it,
or discipline it out of existence.

Despite DNA from the same parents, how often have we wondered “now where did that streak come from?” (Or blame a wayward gene from our mate’s pool.)

Some come into the world cooing, docile, sweet, pliant, calm, and they’ll remain so until they’re waiting in line at the Social Security office. Others burst forth with a hey and a holler, their little bodies perpetual motion machines. These are the ones who’ll hunt for a new route to the Indies when you take them to the park.

Yet, despite both scientific and our own anecdotal evidence, we parents often foolishly still believe we have more power over all this than we do. We don’t.

Worse, any attempt to fool around with our child’s “core,” or unique spirit only leads to power struggles that makes foreign policy look like a game of Go Fish.

Of course, we can’t simply allow him to tear through the world, never mind Wal-Mart, like a typhoon, establish his own rules of civility, bully or boss, or take our car for a joy ride after his “Now I am a man” Bar Mitzvah speech.

The big challenge here is knowing when, how, and how much to futz with Mama Nature. What works, what is expected, and what is effective with Dina may well throw our Marc into a tailspin. Making sure we’re still instilling civilized, ethical behavior while working with, rather than against, our children’s differences presents us with a huge challenge. Even the most loving parents will admit to feeling more “in synch” with one child than another, especially if “the other” is more difficult.

Yet, differentiate we must. Accepting each child’s innate personality, abilities, and tolerance is not only advisable, but a survival skill – for them and for us. Then, working to hone those traits, making each child a custom job, bearing in mind that the cliché “less is better” has never been more true than in dealing with children.

Those of us who deal with so-called “difficult” or “problem” kids, often miss the fact that “the problem” may have been exacerbated when parents try to do too much “changing,” “interfering,” “molding,” and yes, even “diagnosing.” Yet, how often have we quaked over a potential problem, driven ourselves (our mates, the teachers, relatives, and people at the supermarket) crazy, only to find out that the problem took care of itself? And how often have we interfered, only to find we’ve created new, worse problems? Worse, new theories and meds have driven parents and some practitioners to create a nation of over-diagnosed, over-medicated children who are too quickly labeled with “ADHD” “Learning Disorders,” and high functioning Autism. All this by age five.

Related Article: When the Bough Doesn’t Break

Tips for Dealing with Your “Different Drummer” Effectively

1: Decide if there’s a problem with wisdom. There’s a difference between “difference” and “disorder.” If the child is getting along, relatively happy, functional, and developmentally generally on target, “differences” may be a matter of personality.

2: Have patience. Young children mature at different rates. A small “problem” at age three, may disappear when our child is eight.

3: See personality traits as neutral and accept differences. “Stubborn” can lead to persistence. Solo activities can lead to a high degree of creativity. Even “anger” can lead to discernment and positive advocacy. It’s our job to tweak and guide, not to change them.

4: Don’t over-react. The process of becoming over-concerned and over-managed itself can do harm, and make the child unnecessarily anxious, and damage self-image.

5: Work with the child’s personality. Instead of fighting it, hone the positives, while re-routing the “negatives.”

The parent who does only what is necessary to a) tweak personality to make their children empathetic, civilized, and persistent, and b) offer opportunities for the child to march to his/her own drummer, is truly a master of parenting.
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Some Interesting pervasive developmental disorder images:

a child with pervasive developmental disorder

Image by sswain_1999

A child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder

Image by sswain_1999
And the family.

January 10, 2010 Boston, MA – Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation 7th Annual Flutie Bowl held at Luck Strike Lanes. Pictured (L-R) Doug Flutie and Scott Brown

Image by Derek Wilmot
January 10, 2010 Boston, MA – Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation 7th Annual Flutie Bowl held at Luck Strike Lanes. The Foundations primary goal is to promote awareness and support families affected by autism spectrum disorders. CC) Derek Wilmot. www.derekwilmot.com. Feel free to use this picture. Please link back to the original picture on Flickr and credit as shown above.